Torchic & Mew-Only Run! [Pokémon Emerald]

Before you guys kill me, yes I cheated to get THIS Mew. It's for hilarious-ness sake. It won't be migrated or used for anything outside Emerald, except for Gale of Darkness and those cool moves Mew can learn for Coupons.

Ah, the world of POKéMON and it's unnecessary caps lock again! Birch, you again. Let's skip his yattering! Am I a boy or a girl? Well, just because I like this, I'm choosing the boy! Hello Brendan! I will name you Kouji just because! Take courage, leap into adventure, yadda stuff we already know. Checking Trainer Card, always have a 2 or a 5 in my ID#. SAVING INSIDE OF TRUCK. "It must be tiring riding with our things in the moving truck." DUH. Child neglector! You don't put your 10-year old son in a moving truck! Anyway, just like old times, there is a x1 Potion in the PC. Set the clock: 9:17 AM (or close to it) Yay GCN- don't have time for it! Going to neighbor's house. "Oh, you're Kouji, our new next-door neighbor! Hi!" No, I'm actually a thief that just rudely barged in your house like in every RPG! "Our daughter is upstairs, I think." So, you'll let me go into her room. And you think? What kind of parents are you people? Neglecting children and unaware of their location. Clicks Pokéball. "May: Huh who are you?" I am a THIEF-in-disguise, righteously invited into your room by your dimwitted mother!

Anyway, May is helping her dad catch Pokémon on... her PC. What is this, a virtual game? Anyhoots, to Route 101 to save Birch! "H-help me!" Don't worry, Kouji the thief-in-disguise will save you! "Wh-where are you going?! Don't leave me like this!" Drat.

Well, let's take care of this with TORCHIC! Impish TORCHIC! Wow, a critical hit the first hit... o_O Must not like that Zigzagoon. Birch invites Kouji to his lab. Do not want to nickname Torchic. Let's not go see May on route 102!

On the way to Oldale, Kouji and Torchic go inside the center...and somehow end up on an island?

TBC!

So you won't be catching any other Pokemon then? Where do you stand on gift Pokemon? Like Fossils and eggs?

I'll be collecting other Pokémon, but they'll be stored and not used. This isn't a nuzlocke, so I'm free to do what I want without restrictions. XD

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"You saved me. Thanks a lot!" Yeah yeah, so where's my money. Kouji received the TORCHIC! But it was already OT to me. Anyway... Kouji and Torchic ended up on some mysterious island! Whatever it was, it was spooky. So, into the creepy tall grass he went and what the heck is that pink thing? Keeps hiding! After what appeared to be 5 minutes and 12 seconds of backwards hide-n-seek, Kouji and Torchic encounter Mew! What is this I don't even... Kouji-the-ninja, wait, thief, knew he had to catch this valuable Pokémon. He had missed his chance in Yellow Version's glitch. After literally 47 A+B+Start+Select resets, he finally caught Mew in a random, non-existent Pokéball in one try! No seriously... Kouji cried he got his very first Mew! ...Well, the only Mew. He would have to show off to his friends one day. But how would he get off this forsaken island! Mew decided to be hilarious and floated right out of the forest area. Kouji followed and...was now outside a house in Oldale? What the. Palkia must have done this! Didn't matter, because Kouji found May lounging around route 103 anyway.

Time for a battle! Torchic Vs Mudkip!

"I'll give you a taste of what a trainer is like!" uh no thanks literally. Torchic used Growl! Foe Mudkip's attack fell! Foe Mudkip used Tackle! Torchic lost 4 HP! Torchic used Scratch! Mudkip lost ~4HP! Mudkip used Tackle! Critical hit! Torchic is down to 10/22 HP. Torchic used Growl! Foe Mudkip's attack fell (again)! Foe Mudkip used Tackle! Torchic lost 2 HP. Kouji used the Potion! Torchic's HP is restored by 14 points. After 5 rounds of Tackles and Scratches, Foe Mudkip is downed! :D Torchic gains 69 EXP and levels to 7! And learns Focus Energy! Sweet! Got 300 pokedollars for winning!

Now let's head back to the lab-! Mew is upset because he didn't get to fight. Ah well, TBC! ^^

Hmm... interesting. Never seen anybody do parodies on the actual gmaes, that was pretty funny, although you may not be able to get Mew. And will Torchic evolve? Because LC pokemon will only get ya so far before.... *hack* *cough*

"doctor it's flatlining!"

"Damn! Where's the defibrialtor?"

"It needs to be charged..."

"I'm sorry Cheese, but it appears you pokemon.. is dead..."

"NOOOOOOO!"

See what I mean? Evolution is key. Or not. It's your choice, I'm only messing with you anyways.

Thanks. ^^
Yeah, Torchic will evolve but not as soon as expected. As for Mew, I got him already. *points at edited second post* He won't be fighting so much, only for those annoying double battles that Emerald version has. XD

Hopefully you complete the game with only those two Pokemon! Sounds like a challenge.

Galdr we know you can do it.

Thanks guys. XD I hope so, too.

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"Oh, hi, Kouji! I heard you beat MAY on your first try. That's excellent!" Birch, you again. Of course I beat her, she was too easy. "MAY has an extensive history as a TRAINER already." Really? Then why was a ninja-thief able to beat her? Kouji received the POKéDEX! Bout time. So when can I go kill, I mean catch things! Obtained the POKé BALLS! Cool! Sweet, let's go destroy, erm conquer, uh catch Pokémon! Tried going around the mom but she just stops us with running shoes! "They'll put a zip in your step!" Kouji switched shoe with the RUNNING SHOES. Noes! I liked stomping in my Air Force Ones! "Press the B Button while wearing these RUNNING SHOES to run extra-fast!" What is the B Button and why do I, my ingenius, have to press it to run? Virtual game logics these days. Oh, fun! So, Kouji's zoomin' through Route 101! One battle against a Trollworm, I mean Wurmple! It died in two Scratches and Torchic grew to level 8! YAY! Let's go to the POKéMART and buy stuff. Ugh, only newbie newb stuff. Oh well. So, we're walkin' into route 102, and that glasses guy found his own footprints. Lolfail.

Route 102! Kouji is assaulted by another thief-I mean trainer! "If you have POKéMON with you, then you're an official POKéMON TRAINER! You can't say no to my challenge!" Wanna bet, noob? Sheesh, so forceful. And why the CAPS LOCK? Do you realize it looks like shouting text? Youngster Noob Calvin sends out his Poochyena. Piece of cake. Torchic uses Focus Energy! Getting pumped! Poochyena used Tackle! Torchic takes 3 damage! Torchic used Scratch! Poochyena loses half HP! Poochyena used Howl! Its (him) attack rose! Torchic used Scratch yet again! Foe Poochyena fainted! Torchic gained 58 EXP! Player defeated Youngster Noob Calvin! INYOFACE. Yes, you should have trained more, now gimme mah moolah before I used TM46! Hah! So, while we're around, we should train a bit! And, see some Pokémon and catch them to pass the time.

Kouji plots til next time!

XD
It'd be awesome if you completed this without evolving Torchic. (Not a dare, BTW.)

Oh ho, we're back with the sadistic-erm I mean Kouji the ninja-thief and his possessed-I mean awesome Torchic and unused Mew! They just owned Noob Calvin and his Noob Poochyena! ONWARDS! The trio are strolling through Route 201-wait, this isn't Sinnoh! Route 102 like it's cool, now coming across ANOTHER noob trainer and his challenge of Bug Pokemon. Really? A battle with Bug Catcher Rick. Oh no, it's Trollworm-I mean Wurmple! Wurmple (Lv4) Vs Torchic (Lv8). This won't take long. Torchic used Focus Energy! Tro--Wurmple used Tackle! Torchic took two damage! OH NOES. 21/26 HP! Torchic used Scratch! Insta-KO! (Kouji: :DD) Foe Wurmple fainted! Torchic gained 45 EXP points! Torchic grew to LV 9! Bug Catcher Rick is going to send out another Wurmple! No switchy! Mew is not amused! ...Oh fine. It's gonna be overkill. Torchic that's enough, get back! Go, Mew! Foe Wurmple used String Shot! Mew's Speed fell! *feigns worry* Mew used Pound! C-C-Combo Breaker!! Foe Wurmple fainted! Torchic and Mew both gained 22 EXP Points! It didn't even go up that much. Player defeated Noob #2 Rick! Yes, you are down and out, fool. Now give meh my money or I'll have to call the police. Kouji got 64 pokedollars for winning!

So, we're walking, we're walking, and come up to this boy in the grass, who complains the grass is too tall and it goes up his nose and he sneezes. Ew, kid cooties and germs! RUN! Kouji stops, and sees another Youngest just above the ledges. Should he challenge or avoid? Avoiding is always fun! So around we go! Hey, berry trees! You found 2 Oran Berries! Do you want to pick the Oran Berries? >Yes. Kouji picked the 2 Oran Berries.. Awesome. We'll plant some later when we get that Psyduck pail. And, then the tree plant mysteriously disappears. Kouji freaks out. "WHAT KIND OF GAME AM I IN!?" Too bad, but poor kid. Too many game logics to understand. Another berry tree-ooh Pechas! Kouji picked the 2 Pecha Berries. "Where is that chirpy music coming from every time I pick the berries." The thief wonders. Well, oh well! Onwards to Petalburg City! Another trainer, a Lass, is like right there. But, we go ahead and skip her, and now we're in Petalburg! YAY! And Kouji complains about how the happy music is following him. He really is crazy, what is he talking about? To the Pokemon Mart to see how many more newbie items were added to the sales and stock. And, because it's the first builing you see when you enter the town, I mean city. Hmm, X-ups, Orange Mail and REPEL! "Does it repel Trainers?" asks Kouji. He really hates being assaulted by noob Trainers out there that tried imitating Joey. "No" says the clerk. Drat. Ah well. Next time, you will see what happens in the Pokemon Center and the Gym! Thanks for reading! Kouji sulks til next time!

Hey guys! Kouji, Torchic and Mew are back! We last left off they were at the Pokémart, heading for the Pokémon Center! What fun, let's check it out! All right, into the center we go to get the Pokémon healed up. Kouji goes to the PC to arrange his Boxes by name and type. Why is he doing this when he's only gonna have two? Who knows. After that, some weird guy with black hair attack him! With profile making! "Hello there, Trainer! You've got a wonderful smile, there." Kouji is frowning. "I have a hobby--collecting the profiles of Pokémon Trainers." Okay. That's disturbing. What are you, a stalker? "So, how about it? May I see your profile?" NO! Kouji used Run Away! Mew cackles and gives his trainer an 'awesome' profile: "I AM ALSO IGNORANT HAHAHA". Very creative and colorful, Mew. "F-fantastic! Your profile, it's wonderful! It really says what you're about. Why, anyone hearing this profile would be captivated by you!" Ew. Moving on.

To the gym! Kouji enters to see his not-dad, Norman! "Hi Kaoju, finished unpacking already? By the way, you can't challenge me to a Gym Battle because you're a noob, a theif and Maury says I'm not the father!" Norman chirps. Great. "You said my name wrong. It's KOU-JI!" In comes Wally! He wants to catch a Pokémon. Dad is making Kouji go Wally to catch a Pokémon. The kid recieves a Zigzagoon and a Pokéball! "Now off you two go. I have important Gym Leader business to do." Kouji eyes his 'father'. "This important business has nothing to do with you just standing there all day, does it?" "No, now go away!" Onwards to Route 102! Again! Oh no, the follow me music! Help! Anyway, Wally encounters a preset male lv 5 Ralts, Kouji commenting he felt bad that it won't get a Dawn Stone. Somehow, Wally catches it! "Lucky shot" The thief says rudely. "I did it... It's my... My Pokémon! Kouji, thank you!" But he did nothing but sit there and watch you win a preset battle! We somehow warp to the Gym! Weird. Wally returns the Zigzagoon and leaves. TBC

The instant disappearing of Team Aqua and Magma is also bizarre. They just vanish like they lost all their pixels.

This is a really GOOD and well done story on ur game. It should be published, because I would totally buy and read it!!!

Hope to read more we still know you can beat the game with Torchic and Mew.

Torchic will evolve pretty soon, I mean, your coming up to the first gym, you'll be evolvin in no time at all,... but wait! You pushed the B button!

Another odd thing... you can stop a pokemon's growth with a button?

What world do they live in?

Thanks boys! Comments appreciated! ^^

Lol! I was definitely going to add the B-button canceling in this, too. XD You pretty much summed up what my next intentions were, BigC. Oh yes,Torchic evolving will occur. ^^ I'll update later on today. I hope this next bit will be funny, ha-ha.

Okay, I meant to update this yesterday but my post vanished and those battles I did I saved over them. :/ Oh well.

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Player: Kouji 15598
Time: 6:49
Pokedex: 1
Badges: 0
Team: Torchic Lv10, Mew Lv30

So, apparently Kouji defeated two trainers on route 104, Fisherman Darian and Youngster Billy, who wants to leave his footprints in the sand, but they disappear quickly. Definitely defying the logics of gameplay. Also, creepystalker Scott came along, saying that his clothes weren't "dirty enough" to be considered a Trainer. The nerve of that guy. So, anyway! Kouji travels back to Petalburg City to heal and buy more of these "n00bie" items. Because theives don't need to use items they purchase legally. Back out into the really chirpy music that is Petalburg City and out to Route 104! Oooh, tall grass! "Kouji: Let's go try and fill this stupid Pokedex." he says to his two Pokemon. Torchic disagrees, and Mew doesn't really care.


Poochyena - Relaxed Nature. Whee.

Kouji stores the Poochyena in the PC because it's worthless, until he needs an HM Slave. Kouji pauses the game and realizes his frame is...very girly pink with ribbons! "Kouji: WHAT THE? Cute, red ribbons and pink frame!?" He goes to the Options and chooses Frame Style 16. Because 16 looks cool like Tetris. After that, he leaves the Pokemon Center, and goes out to route 104 once more, this time to tackle on that annoying Petalburg Woods infested with Bug Catchers. No worries! Torchic will just flame their Pokemon. In both ways.

But wait! There's a cottage and someone's boat! "Kouji: Hey, let's steal this boat! Or even better, steal what they have in their house!" the ninja-theif says sneakily. He sees the sign and it says: MR. BRINEY'S COTTAGE. Well, whoever left their door open was a real idiot. Time to barge in like in every RPG! Kouji goes in...and now the Petalburg City music is playing in here too?! "Kouji: I'm being HAUNTED" and he rushes out of there! Staying one more second in that house would drive him insane.

He leaves the house post haste and walks up the path to see... more berries to steal! Sweet! You found 2 ORAN BERRIES! Do you want to pick the ORAN BERRIES? "Kouji: Chea yeah." Kouji picked the ORAN BERRIES. And that happy tune plays again... He also plucks the PECHA BERRIES, which result in that chirpy tune! Where is it coming from? "Kouji: Why does it feel like this world has background music?" Anyway. Up ahead, there's a lady there! The trainer-theif-ninja sneaks around her because he is a ninja, and enters the Petalburg Woods. Lame.

He walks left and...BAM!


"Piece of cake!" - Falco
Anyway, enough quoting Brawl characters and their taunts. And there's a dude with blue hair walking around. Let's see what he has to say. "Sometimes, there are things on the ground even if you can't see them. That's why I always check where I'm walking." Hmm. Kouji walks up a couple steps to see a suspicious open space in the grass. He stops one space towards it and clicks! Obtained the Potion! Sweet. Kouji now exits the Lost Woods--I mean the Petalburg Woods, this isn't Zelda, and sees a lady again. Good thing she doesn't fight you. "You're a theif" Aaah, how did she know!? "Kouji: Joe! I toldja they were onto us!" the trainer panicks. "if you try to steal someone else's Pokemon. You should only throw Pokeballs only at wild Pokemon." Oh, that's what she meant. Whew. Kouji's secret identity is safe, but that gives him an idea! Back to the Woods! But lo and behold another wild Poochyena attacks! There's no time for you, so Kouji flees and gets away safely! He runs with his new running shoes, pressing the B button, whatever that was. And the first annoying bug catcher...catches him!

"I caught a whole bunch of Pokemon! Go, go, go! My Bug Pokemon team!" Dream on, loserface.


Well, while Kouji rages, he, Torchic and Mew will stay the night at Petalburg Lost Woods. Zeldamon, heh.

[Saved at 8:04 play time]